Time Bandit Magazine

Check this guy out, a french-horn player who goes on solo tramps around the South Island,  New Zealand dressed in 19th-century attire. Police say the cache included five military flares, two anti-personnel mines, eight sticks of Powergel and two cans of black powder. He is also an amateur historian who seems to fancy himself some kind of Indiana Jones. But really now, Indiana Jones would never fall for this one:

“I don’t think anybody’s suggesting there was a high level of culpability associated with this,” Eaton said. “He was looking after (the explosives) for some other person whom he trusted. Some were a bit odd and unless you really had knowledge, you wouldn’t recognise them.”

That old chestnut, nice. Christchurch Symphony concertmaster Jan van den Berg let it be known that this did not reflect on the hallowed orchestra, thank god.

He has been an enthusiastic member of a fringe group, Alf’s Imperial Army. Now that is the real story.

It starts here.

The founding fathers of ALF’s Imperial Army 1973

“The catalyst for this decision came in 1972 when the University Pacifist Society voted to give student money to the Viet Cong! Long an admirer of Viktor Frankl’s “paradoxical intention” therapy and convinced that, since the student leaders were becoming unintentionally paradoxical out of sheer hatred of the USA, the best way to provide therapy for the students as a whole was to form a “paradoxical army” that fought for fun.ALF’s Imperial Army was named after the university reform movement he founded earlier at The University of NSW in Sydney and was consciously part of the ongoing Fun Revolution .

An Imperial Army was designed to be the most radical departure from conventional student politics imaginable. The colour and style of imperialists appealed to the Wizard’s aesthetic tastes as a Living Work of Art . He regarded anti-imperialists as uncouth, puritanical, arrogant, argumentative and, worst of all, shabbily turned out in their khaki battledress and Che Guevara berets. “

This is great social absurdity, an independent variation of the Situationists. This is the kind of student movement I can get behind, wit strikes starker than stones. Looking like the reserves of Sgt. Pepper’s Lone Hearts Club Brigade, this must have been site to behold , a Fun Revolution.

Seems there were several great campaigns by the army, including The Conquering of New Zealand. They even have a plan to attack the USA, all in jest of course. Reads something like this:

“Since the 1970s the Wizard has kept reminding his army that they must not forget that their great mission in life is The Invasion of America. The master plan is to recruit heavily in Canada and then march South over the border.

The Aim is to bring the Yanks back into the Empire, to restore Queen Elizabeth as their legitimate Head of State, to replace their President with a Governor General, to re-establish the Church of England as their state religion, and to secure an apology for the misrepresentation of King George III’s character in The Declaration of Independence. Whether or not the British will burn the White House down for the third time will depend on the Americans’ genuine repentance for their government’s collusion with the Soviet dictator at the Yalta and Tehran Conferences to destroy the British Empire.

This web site is now ready to facilitate the recruitment of traditionalists and loyalists from all over the British Commonwealth, especially from those Canadians horrified by their absorption into the USA. We also expect to gaining allies from discontented Confederate States “rebels” with long memories. Volunteers keen to participate in this noble enterprise should contact the Wizard by e-mail as soon as possible..”

Contact the wizard, dude. Contact the wizard.